Thursday, September 15, 2005

Allison Thompson Mills

This post is completely devoted to the divine creature that walks the Earth under the moniker Allison Thompson Mills. Actually, it is officially still Allison Thompson because she hasn't changed her name yet, but it will be soon, so technically I'm just ahead of my time. I'm not saying that I was told to write a blog devoted to her as a bribe for her to read my blog, but...who can say no to that bitch?

Ali has been my best friend since I moved in across the street from her during the summer before 7th grade, August of 1991 to be exact. She was wearing a white Esprit T-shirt with a rockin' headband and some snarl-teeth (pre-braces). I was wearing probably some hideously matchy-matchy JC Penny's outfit cuz that's how I styled it that year. Her mom, Sandrat, asked me how old I was in a non-creepy way and after my response said, "Oh Ali is the same age as you. You both will be starting middle school this fall." Or something like that. Along the same lines. And I remember thinking - oh really? This girl looks like I could maybe baby-sit her. But I didn't say anything because I was desperate to be loved (and still am, I'm writing this thing, aren't I?). Plus she was already friends with two boys in the neighborhood and her brother was (and still is, ladies) way hot. And their backyard went onto the river, so...Actually, Ali was cute, like a chipmunk and I loved Esprit. We hung out that summer in her basement, in my basement, in Sumit's unbuilt house, Hackettstown pool, Hackettstown mall (sporting a KMart!) and a local bait shop/gun store that also sold candy! A kid's wet dream, fo' real.

After years of boys, Kudos, video games, drunken all nighters, heart breaks, weddings, dreams, and being painfully separated, she is still as cute as a chipmunk. And my bestest friend ever.

Here's why:

  1. When you are mad at her, she gets mad at you. Then you are both feeling the same thing.
  2. When you make her boyfriend who you just met pull over the car with 3 false alarms and 2 productive "vomit stops", she tells the story and laughs at you over and over and over again. And over again.
  3. When you go to visit her, you two go to the Holocaust Museum in DC, because hey, that sounds fun?! And when you are both done hysterically sobbing, you go to the Museum Cafe and share a large bowl of the best matzo ball soup outside of someone's Bubbies' kitchen (and a knish for good measure).
  4. She is only your friend because your mom buys Kudos and hers doesn't. This way you get a friend and you don't get fat because she ate all your Kudos.
  5. You can laugh at each other's man-mistakes (guys you dated/fucked and REALLY wish you didn't).
  6. When you go to visit her, she is elated at your suggestion to drink sour apple martinis, lay on the blow-up mattress she laid out for you in the living room, and watch made-for-TV movies on Lifetime about teenage prostitution, pregnancy, abuse, bullies, blah, blah, blah
  7. When you devote an EXTREMELY long blog to the wonderfulness that is her, she still probably won't read it. The bottom line is you couldn't have survived all the shit life throws you without her, still love her til it hurts and hope you die first because you can't imagine how you could survive the rest of life's bullshits without her.

So, to LiLi, allie-oop, Al, Ali, Alley Kat, Allison Kate, Mrs. Mills, Prince A-li, Alleeeson, Alissssssson, and every other variation upon your name we have used at some point in the 14 years we have been BFF...

Are you fuckin' happy now?

7 Comments:

Blogger Cookie said...

Your other Ali is Jealous of this post and your love for your first Ali!

12:13 AM  
Blogger madness rivera said...

I WANT AN ALI TO CALL MY OWN.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. I will not be using the "Thompson" only the "Mills"
2. That is a very slimming picture, not the most sexy, but I will take it because my arms are not swaying in the breeze.
3. I heard you leaving a message on my answering machine just as I dozed off to sleep, but you woke me and I'm annoyed now...so I won't call.
4. I said I wanted only a loving BLOG, I sensed some hateful sarcasm?!
5. I have been beaten up by a three year old at school again today, this was the last straw...HE WILL NO LONGER BE ATTENDING......
6. I love you
7. CANADA DOES NOT EXIST

7:23 PM  
Blogger Kristen D said...

yeah, you look way hot in that pic. i'd do you.
no hateful sarcasm, my dear, only loving sarcasm
i'm proud you read the whole thing
and yes, madness, we all need an ali to call our own (she's handy because she is short and petite and i can stick her in my pocket whenever i want)

8:03 PM  
Anonymous gina said...

larn is also jealous...u need to write a blog devoted to me and the other ali...and ps i think i am taller!

3:25 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Yes, everyone should have an Ali, and another Ali, and a Larn (?), and a Kristen...but in the great scheme of things, what would any of them be without the others?

I wish you all: Happy friendships, A fun, easy wedding and reception, and a good, solid MARRIAGE. That's the hard part, but it is so worth it.

5:31 AM  
Blogger Kristen D said...

Belinda you are so sweet! (Larn is our nickname for Lauren because after saying it a few times you skip the extra syllable and it becomes Larn)

10:43 AM  

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