Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Is anyone else in here?

So, tonight Ali S, Larn, and I were at the Merchant Ale House and Ali S and I went to the bathroom. When we went in no one was there, and we are talking to each other in the stalls. I am telling her how I have been pooping all day and she is telling me how she can't place a deuce at all. Then I hear a non Ali cough and say is someone else in here. I hear a voice say, "Yes, but I am amused by your conversation." So I'm okay with that, she's okay, we're all okay. I come out of the stall to wash my hands as does Ali and the other girl.

The other girl, let's call her Cool Kid, tells us we shouldn't be embarassed because she has been caught talking about or doing worse things. Yeah, whatever. Ali and I found it funny as hell. We're laughing as we walk up the stairs back to the bar to fill Larn in. Larn tells us the Cool Kid came back to her table shaking her head and told her table of other Cool Kids that we were ridiculous and made fun of us.

My message to the Cool Kid:
1. Its just shit. We all do it. Even you. And yes, your's does smell.
2. Thrift store clothes don't automatically make you cooler than me.
3. Don't, I repeat don't, be all buddy-buddy with someone then turn around and make fun of them. If you think I am ridiculous (and I am) tell me to my fucking face right there and then, biz-snatch. (a combo of bitch and snatch and very fun to say)
4. I didn't like your haircut.
5. You were with some very fugly boys. Our boys are cute.
6. You're the only one who thinks you're cool.


Anonymous ALI ALI ALI said...

Dude you totally forgot the beginning of the story.

I will now tell your thousands of readers about the other funny incident that happened on our trip to the potty.

So as Mrs. Dudding and I were on our way to use the facilities, she decided to slap my ass at the top of a long narrow staircase. I was startled and let out a Yelp. This was heard by the elder gentleman in the tiger shirt comming up this narrow staircase. His response was "Calm down ladies I might be able to catch one of you on these stairs but not both!!" I am glad that he was looking out for us!!

Also as to my inability to place a deuce (Ladies don't drop deuces, they Place them) it was not as though I was incabaple of doing it, its that my body prefers to do it at night. You would have loved to see the load I placed when I got home!!

I was hoping your entry today would dicuss the humour of ReadPlease! (exclmation) but Alas I guess I will have to wait for another day

Keep the funny stories comming...
ALI ALI ALI (also known as Cookie)

11:49 AM  
Anonymous ali ali ali said...

So Yeah.... I am at work and as a result I am really bored. I know that you are at work as well and as such are not updating your blog like you should be... but that hasn't stopped me from checking it every few hours.. and just now when I checked it and saw you had not yet gotten home from work to update it I hit refresh several times so that I could get your counter up to 100 and you could feel popular.... Oh please somebody save me .. I am dying of Boredom


5:05 PM  

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